Friday, January 14, 2011

Office of the Tooth Fairy

So my oldest lost one of her baby teeth the other day, she put it under her pillow, but wanted to write the tooth fairy a note, so with my wife’s help she wrote a note that told the tooth fairy that she had purposely put the tooth at the edge of the pillow so it was easier to find and she wanted to thank them for all their hard work gathering these teeth. She was also curious as to what they did with them.
Next morning the tooth and note were gone and money was in their place instead. She was disappointed that there was no note from the tooth fairy. However next day an official looking letter arrived in the mail and here is the contents:

Office of the Chief Fairy Godmother

From: Faylinn, Chief Tooth fairy Coordinator, Northern Division
Fairyland, far, far away
PO bx 002340000

Re: Your note left with tooth

Thank you for your note that our agent, Senior Field Tooth Fairy Latanya discovered with your tooth. We do appreciate the efforts you took to assist us in collecting your tooth and hope you find the compensation adequate. As a department we would like to thank you for your kind words about our service, which rarely gets the credit it deserves. To this end we will post your letter into the lunch room so all the Fairies can see it.

Normally we do not discuss the end use of the teeth we collect, however I placed a call with Santa Clause Foundation and a check of their records indicate that you are indeed a good girl and worthy of our time.

Our dedicated team of tooth fairies collect children’s first set of teeth that are placed under pillows, these teeth are collected from around the world. As children are generally kind, innocent and sweet, their teeth absorbs all these qualities and therefore have powerful magical properties. The teeth are ground into a powder that is mixed with other secret ingredients to produce fairy dust. No doubt a bright young lady like yourself is likely aware that we need this dust to fly and carry out our other good works.

Our records show that this is the 2nd tooth that we have collected and we look forward to collecting more of your wonderful teeth as your new set comes in. On another matter we understand that your father has recently had a tooth extracted. While you might think that adult teeth would be even better for our purposes, we find they are generally large, heavy and with minimal magical properties. However if your father was to send the tooth postage paid to the address on the letterhead, we will accept and find a use for it.

Yours Forever and day

P.S. Keep brushing those teeth!!!

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